Giving Back | Linked

First and foremost, for those of you who are new to my blog: my husband  I have been married 8 years and have 2 wonderful children, a first grader and an almost 3 year old. After working for 15 years, I quit my job in 2012 to put my energy fully into going back to school for my RN- we lost half of our income with this decision, and while it's been challenging and (quite frankly) terrifying, I know we made the best decision for our family and we try to make the best of it as well as we can and count our blessings often.

Another year has come and gone, another set of resolutions unmet. As my regular readers may remember, I was resolved to blogging more in 2013. That resolution gave way to finishing my novel and preparing to enter nursing school.  A few weeks ago I received an email from my Mom and step-sister-in-law, Melissa, about doing linked blogs once a month- I took that as a sign that will help keep me motivated and accountable for actually completing the blogs I want to write.

This month's blog is about giving back.


We are a family of many Christmases, 6 to be exact.  This past weekend my Dad was in town for his Christmas with us. In one of the most thoughtful Christmas gifts we've ever received, he surprised me by taking me to the store where he bought a little over a week's worth of groceries for us. You can only imagine how thrilled I was!

Earlier in the month we were able to spend time visiting my husband's grandmother as she recovered from a hospital stay at a long-term care facility. Not only did Grandma enjoy talking and spending time with my husband and watching our youngest being on the go non-stop, but quite a few of the other residents enjoyed watching the baby travel up and down the halls past the recreation areas and their rooms. More than once I caught sight of faces brightening as we passed and heard comments of "Oh, such a sweet little girl!" and "The baby's all dressed up for Christmas" (we dressed her in her Christmas outfit for Grandma).

And finally... Just after Christmas, a friend brought her kids over for a play-date and as we discussed the two of us being done having kids, she asked if I had any of my maternity stuff I'd be willing to part with for a friend of hers who was paying outlandish amounts of money for maternity clothing where she's currently living over seas. Needless to say, I was thrilled to be able to get the maternity clothes out of my closet! In addition, she took the pack-n-play which opened up some extra space in our house.  There were a few additional maternity items I knew I had and in the massive "sort and organize" that took place that afternoon we were able to put together 5 boxes and a bag of children and infant clothing that we took to Goodwill. I was thrilled that we were getting it out of our house and to a place where thrifty shoppers would be able to get use out of it!


For more inspiration on ways to give back, you can view my Mom's blog and Melissa's blog.

One Last Smile

I encourage you to read through to the end of this post- there is a special announcement you won't want to miss!

One year ago today, my uncle lost his battle with cancer. While it has been a difficult and heartbreaking transition for our entire family, we have been able to find some comfort in knowing he is no longer suffering as he was towards the end. Each day I think about him, my aunt & my cousins at least once. I miss him terribly.

The week before Lee passed, I was visiting him & our family in Des Moines. I had an essay that was due the following week, so in the wee hours of the morning, I found inspiration from being there with him and my family. Here is that essay:

"The first night of English 102 I had to inform my instructor that I would be missing class the night this first paper was due because we would be on a trip to visit my ill uncle in Iowa.  We agreed that the paper could be submitted electronically and he also offered a suggestion: come back with a story that I didn't already know, just to keep as a personal, special memory of him.  I smiled and remarked what a good idea that was.

As I contemplated which topic to choose for this paper I found it difficult to be completely satisfied with the two I had narrowed my selection down to.  My husband liked “what's the fascination with zombies" while I thought "why couldn't the keyboard have been alphabetized" sounded fun.  I put off and procrastinated this paper for over a week and still could not settle myself into a satisfactory topic... until 12:35 this morning.  It was at that moment I found resolution to a question that has been burning in my mind, and no doubt a number of other people's heads, for quite some time... why does God allow us to suffer and endure the loss of loved ones with seemingly nothing to gain in return?

Growing up, we spent a lot of time with my Uncle Lee.  Between family golf outings, reunions and various carpentry projects he completed with the help of my Dad, there was a lot of time spent together, especially at Lee's house in Des Moines.  Lee has always been quick witted and clever, but my favorite thing about him is his smile.  It is never just his mouth that smiles, it's his whole face; his mouth, eyes, even his ears take part in that contagious smile of his!  You just can't help feeling good when you see him smiling.

Life was good, until he was diagnosed with lung cancer last fall.  For a year Lee has battled.  After what seemed to be a successful round of chemotherapy last year, he bounced back and was almost his old self again at our annual "Larsen Soup-er Saturday" in November and he continued to smile.  This spring they discovered that the cancer had spread to his brain.  In order to combat the new tumors they attempted a more aggressive chemotherapy treatment which didn't work.  They then used radiation, which was successful but also had the unfortunate side effect of memory loss.  Once radiation treatment was complete, a full-body scan was conducted to verify the remission of his cancer.  It was at this time they discovered that it had spread practically everywhere; his body is extensively riddled with cancerous cells.  A decision had to be made: either try a new, even more aggressive treatment that had potentially devastating side effects, or place his life in God's hands and let His plan unfold.  Lee’s care was placed with God.

Lee has continued to smile, until this point.  When I spoke with my Dad Sunday morning, the hospice nurses were giving him a month to live, and that was being generous.  Monday evening they were saying 24 hours.  I made the 5.5 hour drive in just under 5 hours.  I spent the majority of those 5 hours wondering if I was doing the right thing by leaving my family at home to make this trip, wondering if I was just being selfish to want the peace of knowing I was able to see and spend time with him one last time, and wondering if it would be too late by the time I arrived.  At 12:20 a.m. this morning I pulled into their driveway.  The first thing I did was visit Lee.

As I looked upon him lying so weak, feverish and medicated in his bed I couldn't help but think "Why? Why is God allowing him to suffer in such pain? Why are his wife and daughters being put through the torture of watching him degrade from the once social and very capable person he once was to hardly being able to keep his eyes open or recognize those who were closest to him? Why wouldn't God have mercy and give him peace?"

As my Aunt Laura rubbed his arm and spoke to him in an attempt to rouse him from his sleep she told me how the hallucinations had become the norm the past few days and recognition had deteriorated to near non-existence. Although it was the middle of the night, he opened his eyes ever so slightly and with much effort.  Laura told him "Liz is here. Liz drove all this way to see you."  He turned to look at me, grinned that wonderful smile of his and whispered "hi" before closing his eyes again.  Laura said "That is the most recognition we've had in a while."  It was 12:35 a.m.

It was that moment that I realized that even though we may feel small and insignificant, our actions or even just our being means something to someone.  In that one smile I found reassurance, love and a sense of meaning I had not previously known existed.  In that one smile I found resolution to all of the questions that had flown through my mind just a moment earlier: we all have something to learn from these experiences.

My Grandma Forshee passed away three days before she turned 78; we buried her on her birthday, which was just two days before mine.  From her passing I learned the importance of taking advantage of the opportunity for that "one last time".  18 months later Grandpa Forshee passed.  I learned two things: 1) we can find opportunity in loss.  I'd spent most of my childhood being close with the Forshees, now was my chance to bond and grow closer to Grandma and Grandpa Larsen; 2) sometimes you just have to let go.  Grandpa was ready to go be with his wife, but he held on for 18 long months because the rest of us were not ready to let him go.  We finally realized that we were not able to begin healing until he was able to be at peace.  When we finally let him go, the transition was peaceful and full of love and understanding that he would be in a better place and would be reunited with his true love.  In 2011, on our anniversary, my husband's Aunt passed suddenly.  The loss of Auntie Bevie taught me that everyone is to be cherished, because you really never know when time will be up.

As I write this, it is 4 a.m. Tuesday, September 18^th, 2012.  I know I should sleep, but I won't, I can't.  I know this may be the last sunrise Lee sees in this world, and although I am saddened by this, I am also inspired.  I mattered to Lee in a way and for a reason I will likely never fully know or understand, and he mattered to me more than he ever knew.  So while I may not be bringing back a memorable story, I'm bringing back something even more cherished and special, something I will carry with me to the end of my days... a smile.

Leroy Morris Larsen passed away on Tuesday, September 25, 2012 at approximately 3:15 p.m."

As you may or may not know, I am a Tupperware consultant/manager. October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month and Tupperware has come out with a number of great "pink" items!  From now through November 1st, I will be donating 100% of my profits from all of my Tupperware sales (pink or not) to Stand Up 2 Cancer in memory of Lee. Please join me in supporting cancer research and treatment. Together we can make a difference!

Shop online at www.my.tupperware.com/ERACHE or contact me to order.

My Summer Bucket

I'm new at this... the whole "being home instead of working" thing.  And lets face it, this takes some getting use to and adjustment to make it work properly.  So I've come up with a short "summer bucket list" to help keep my sanity and the kids entertained.  Let's see how much of this is accomplished at the end of summer.

1.) Get out of the house with the kids at least once a week. (Brookfield Zoo, Phillips Park, Naperville Riverwalk, downtown Yorkville, the pool, etc)

2.) Work with Morgan on becoming better acquainted with her potty seat.

3.) Get some "adult" time.  (Monday evenings at Suzy's watching Amanda's sand volleyball team will be a good start!, but I want to get a "Moms night" once every few weeks for us neighborhood moms to get together & have some wine.)

and, last but certainly not least

4.) WORK ON MY NOVEL!  My goal is to have it 90-100% complete before fall semester begins.  Considering I've written 2 chapters in the last 2 days and come up with a great twist, I have no excuse not to meet this goal, unless (God forbid) I hit writers block- in which case someone will need to come kick me square in the derriere!

Cheers!

Meet "Basketball"

There's a very special someone I'd like to introduce you to.  Her name is Basketball.

Why I named her that 25 years ago, I have no idea, but the name stuck.  My Grandma Larsen made her for me- she was my first CPK and she got lots of playtime when I was younger.

This weekend I was going through a few tubs of my old Barbies & stuffed animals and re-discovered my Cabbage Patch collection... so did Morgan.  She claimed the toys she wanted in this manner:

Yes, she made it clear that those are "Nine!" (mine) and yes, that tub is half full of Barbie clothes- she "hid" the actual Barbies on my recliner so she could sit in the tub with "Nine!" toys.

I think it is safe to say that today, on Morgan's 2nd birthday, Basketball has a new owner.  And while it saddens me a little to think of just how old Basketball is, I am thrilled that Morgan has adopted her and I'm sure she will be loved for a long time.

Aslan and Jesus

Before Christmas, Brian & I had been working on explaining to Liam why we celebrate Christmas and now I've started trying to explain Easter. But let's face it, describing abstract reasoning and events from 2000 years ago tends to go right over the head of most 5-year olds. I do my best and hope something gets absorbed. I've been thrilled that he remembers that Jesus came to us to save us all from evil. It's a start.

We've been working on broadening the kids horizons past Thomas the tank engine and Toy Story. I know they go through phases, but the current diet of Toy Story 2 & Thomas non-stop has begun to wear on my nerves. So today I decided that Liam is probably old enough to understand most of the Narnia series; so down to the basement I went to dig out the 3 movies. I explained the basic idea of the movie (finding a magical world in a closet) and he was very excited to watch it!

As we watched "The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe" Liam asked questions and I started off by explaining that it was magic; but as the movie progressed, somethng clicked in my head and i found myself explaining events in the movie in religious terms.

Liam asked why Edmund was with the White Witch; I told him that she had tricked him like the Devil tries to trick us into doing bad things.

Liam asked about Aslan the lion; I told him Aslan was like Jesus in that he was there to protect them from evil.

During the scene where Aslan sacrifices himself in Edmund's place, I explained to Liam how Jesus had given himself to the bad guys so that they could not hurt us.

I explained that, like Aslan, Jesus had died to keep us safe from evil.

Liam asked if Aslan was going to come back (by this point he was calling Aslan "Jesus") and I told him to keep watching.

When the stone table cracked and Aslan came back, I explained to him how that was like when Jesus rose from his grave which is why we celebrate Easter.

At the end of the battle, Liam asked if the evil was dead, and I told him it was.

The end of the film shows Aslan walking across a perfectly serene beach. Lucy is sad that he is leaving, but Mr. Tumnus tells her that he will be back when he is needed. I told Liam that Jesus had left the Earth too, but when we need him most, he will come back to protect us again.

While I know CS Lewis is quoted as saying he did not write the books as a religious metaphor, the similarities were just too plain to see for me to not notice them. It fit so perfectly and finally gave me a tool to be able to show Liam these abstract past events that we had been trying to clarify for months in a way he would understand them. He seemed to understand what we were talking about, so I hope he has assimilated at least the important facts from our conversation.

One thing is for sure: I will never look at this movie the same way again...

God sent his only son to save us from evil...
Jesus died to protect us...
We celebrate Jesus' birth at Christmas and we celebrate his rise from the grave at Easter...
And last but not least: God & Jesus can take on many forms... even a lion named Aslan.

The New "Me" part 1

Yes, I know it has been a long time since my last blog and so much has happened.
Since today is the first day of a new year, I'll share with you that I've made only 2 resolutions for myself:  1.) Blog more often; 2.) Be better to myself.
I'm starting resolution #1 by sharing resolution #2.

As happens when you have kids, you devote most (or if you're like me, all) of your time to them.  I've come to realize I really don't do anything for myself and I certainly don't treat or take care of myself like I should.  Since leaving my job, I've come to realize that I really do have some worth and really should take better care of "me" than I have in the past because, darn it, I deserve to feel good about myself!  I've done a little shopping for clothes- not the "off the rack cookie cutter" stuff I use to buy at Wal-Mart, I'm talking shopping at stores designed for those of us that are full-figured.  My favorite of these by far has been Torrid (owned by Hot Topic).  I've worked on taking control of my appearance by doing more with my hair and trying to put on make-up more often, especially if I'm going out somewhere.  Trying to kick this never ending acne has been a pain in the behind, but it's a work in progress.

The biggest challenge I'm facing is my weight; yes, pun intended. 

This problem began when I was in high school.  Most girls are overly self-conscious at that age and I fell into this category.  I wasn't really fast or super smart or very pretty, and frankly, I believe that whole statement still applies.  But what made it much worse for me was being put on a medication for epilepsy that, years later, another specialist determined I did not need.  The diagnosis wasn't as bad as the amount of weight I gained from the medication I was put on.  Not being a small girl in the first place, soaring to 145 then 160 in high school was torture.  Throughout college I worked a fast-paced, physical, "on your feet" job which helped to keep my weight in check, until I moved to Illinois in 2004 and started a desk job at the bank.  By the time I became pregnant with our son in 2006, I had ballooned to 194.  After he was born in 2007 I lost the mere 18 pounds I gained during pregnancy and felt good about it.  I dieted and exercised and when I became pregnant with our daughter in 2010... I was right at 194.  I gained more weight with her than her brother but was still able to get myself down to 205 post-delivery.  So here I was, almost 2 years later sitting at 214 and wondering why I'm unable to lose the weight.

Throughout the years I've exercised, dieted, starved, done the trend diet and more to try to lose this excess. Weight Watchers, IsaGenix, Alli, Atkins.. all of it failing or worse, making me GAIN more weight.  No matter what diets I tried or how much I exercised, nothing seemed to work or it caused me side effects that were annoying, inconvenient or just plain gross!  (If you've tried Alli and had "leakage" you know exactly what I'm talking about!)

So at the beginning of December 2012 I decided enough was enough.  Being on the go with college, a Kindergartner to run to & from school and a toddler to chase around wasn't enough to do anything but maintain the status quo.  I saw an episode of Dr. Oz talking about green coffee bean extract. (You can see the segment here or read the article here.)  I said to myself "heck, nothing else has worked, I may as well give this a try."  Dr. Oz recommends a green coffee bean extract that is 100% pure, and this is what I found:

The ONLY ingredients in this are: Green Coffee Bean Extract and Vegetarian Capsule.  You can find this at Wal-Mart (30 capsules for about $10) or I got this 90 capsule bottle at Sam's Club for around $20.

I began my little experiment by logging on to MyPlate at www.livestrong.com .
In order to make this as unbiased as possible, I set my goal to "maintain my current weight" which at 214 pounds gave me a total of about 2400 calories allowed each day starting off (as you track your weight progress it adjusts your calorie allotment accordingly.)  And no, I'm not ashamed to admit I was that high because if I can't be honest about it, nothing is ever going to change- I have to face it in order to fix it.  Yes, that sounds like a lot of calories and I have only been over on my calories 5 days of the 23 total, and each of those was either going to a movie or eating dinner/lunch out, most days I don't even come close (most days I have between 400 and 800 calories remaining, a few days I had 1200-1600 remaining).  I started a journal but about halfway through my entries were few and far between just because of school finals, finishing up for Christmas, etc... I just didn't make the time for them.  I will try to be better about that during part 2.

Starting December 8th, I began taking 2 capsules 30 minutes before lunch and dinner with a whole bunch of water.  There have been several days that I have forgotten the pills at lunch, but that's how it goes sometimes.  I was not going to the gym like I had been in previous weeks and will be beginning in the next couple weeks because my fitness class had ended and I just didn't have time to go- so no, I have not been doing any additional exercise during part 1 of this experiment. The only thing I've done is paid closer attention to my portions because of tracking on MyPlate... let's face it, a bowl of GetBalance Crunch for me is 2 servings, not the skimpy 1 cup that's listed on the box.  I haven't necessarily been eating "better" just more controlled and a touch "smarter".

The results?  In 23 days I have lost 9 pounds, have been able to hold to portion sized much better and have not experienced any negative side effects.  Being back to 205 feels good, but my short term goal is to be under 200 again... once I hit that I'll re-assess and set a new goal.  Little bits at a time, that's how I'll defeat this demon.

During part 2 I will be changing my MyPlate goal to losing 1 or 2 pounds a week (undecided which at this moment) and will be more physical in weeks to come as I hit the fitness center more and start my personal defense class.  Then we'll really see what I can do with a little bit of determination and green coffee extract!
 
See you in a few weeks!...