Just A Pinch

I know, I know... It's been almost 9 months since my last blog. And while I can say with a decent amount of certainty that no one even noticed... I do apologize.

If you connect with me on Facebook, you may have notice my presence has decreased drastically lately. (If you don't & haven't, you probably won't understand what this post is shining light on simply because you're likely not on FB too terribly often & are removed from these issues. Count yourself lucky. But I digress...)

Why, you ask?

1 simple realization...
I joined FB to be able to connect to family I didn't get to see regularly. And while I've been able to continue to meet this goal on a fairly regular basis, I've watched as this platform was twisted and disfigured into the war-mongering, life-force siphoning society & intelligence destroyer it is today. People argue & cyber-bully / attack people they don't even know on the simple grounds of feeling their opinion is superior. People have lost "common sense" societal filters of basic communication which guided us to when it was appropriate to share our opinions & when it was best to keep it to ourselves. We're told we no longer need to edit ourselves for content, accuracy, intelligence, or courtesy. True individual thought has been replaced with an illusion planted by people who refuse to acknowledge that a differing opinion or perspective doesn't need to be squashed out of intellectual existence. Because one person's research & education have lead them down one path, they refuse to acknowledge the basic fact that other people may use different research & education and have been lead down another, much different trek; and, instead of working to find middle ground or simply letting bygones be bygones, I see far too many people insisting, no, demanding that everyone must agree with them or else they should be shamed, ridiculed and figuratively crucified. People have died because another person's ego became so over-inflated by social media that they no longer felt the need to treat other people with kindness, courtesy, and common sense.







The Facebook generation: killing common sense consideration of other people, propagating the illusion & inflation of individual self-importance, and encouraging arguments via uneducated and ill-informed users using fear mongering, harassing and demeaning posts since 2004.

Now don't get me wrong- I'm not saying the whole system needs to be torn down to the studs. My profile will remain up for the people who actually care what's going on with the kids, the few games I play, etc. But I won't be reading posts spewing venom, hatred and ignorance in my news feed. I will scroll past this drama without batting a lash and be at peace with that action. I'm moving back to why I made a profile to begin with- to share love with my family & friends.



Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord. Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality. Romans 12:19-21

This author sums it up much better than I ever could...
How social media is destroying our society By Chemory Gunko
It's not scientific. There's no algorithm supporting facts in this article. But just read the words and think about posts you've seen that you could swear each "sin" was written with it in mind. I guarantee you'll realize there's more than your brain can fathom once you see it fully. This is a problem. A habit. One that can easily be broken by simply not feeding into the beast.

I invite you to join me in moving away from the corruption of social media enthusiasts to begin healing people and relationships. Facebook should be about connecting, not dominating; sharing love, not hate; and communicating, not finger-pointing, arguing, demeaning & destroying. Think before you post. If you don't like what someone has posted- scroll on, or hide the post so you won't stumble upon that someone's dung-pile post again. Don't fall victim to the temptation of feeding this beast. There's a better way to make a difference in the world than by empty posts; it starts with courtesy, caring, a pinch of common sense, and a dash of manners.

The "Marinara Incident" Life Lesson

Meet "my shoes".

 

I loved these shoes.

Let me repeat that - I LOVED these shoes!

I purchased these shoes about 2 years ago. 

Now, before all of you runners out there start in on how running/walking shoes should be replaced every 3 months or so... y'all know me better than that. When I find a pair I truly love, I will wear them until they fall apart! So don't waste your breath.

Somewhere around last August these shoes began to bite my feet.

Yes, you read that right. And if you're a runner/walker, you know exactly what I mean.

I thought I would have to break down and get a new pair until one of the girls in my class mentioned that she wore hers untied when they started doing that.

Great idea!! (See how the laces are interlaced at the top- adjustable slip-ons. Love it!)

 So now I've worn these this way, untied, since.

In February, we learned our local K-Mart was closing, so I happened to pick up a pretty purple pair of shoes discounted to have on hand, awaiting the day I would finally cave and give up on "my shoes".

Then today happened.

Let me start with- at 5:45 I realized I'd fallen asleep without switching my washed clothes to the dryer.  AHHH!  I quickly throw one outfit into the dryer to run while I showered.  Crisis averted.

A bunch of us carpool to our current clinical site and today I volunteered to drive. Halfway from the meeting point to our clinical site I realize I'd forgotten my lunch at home.  AHHH! Damn, guess I'm not eating until 2:30 today. *Sigh*

One of the girls mentioned pizza during post-conference. May I say: YUM! So I swung by the store and got a personal pizza and some breadsticks. Scarfed the pizza in the car and started on the breadsticks as I pulled into the driveway. T-minus 30 minutes until I needed to be at Liam's school to get a decent parking space. Walk in the house with everything in balance... then this happened:

Well, I should say, pictured is the aftermath of what happened. It wasn't until I was finishing cleaning it up that it occurred to me that I really needed to blog this.

"What is that?" you ask yourself?

Marinara.

"Why is this significant?" you ponder?

This is why...

Yep. That's right. My little container of marinara decided to take a swan dive off my perfectly balanced armful and splatter into a huge mess all over the floor, breakfast bar wall, my jeans, and yes, "my shoes".

*Sigh*

As my anxiety level climbed, I slid "my shoes" off and examined them... top & bottom covered in marinara. I felt panic beginning to rise, but then I took a deep breath and decided this was God's way of telling me to let go of "my shoes" and to move on to "the new shoes".

Amazingly, today my clinical partner and I had discussed holding on to the past.

My exact words to her were: "If you hold on to the past, you'll never be able to grab the future."

Funny how that came full circle within a 2.5 hour period of time.

Here's to you Julie.

Here they are... "the new shoes" that shall, from this day forth, be known as "my shoes"...

at least until another "marinara incident".

A Cause Worth Giving To | February Linked

This month has been a whirlwind, to put it lightly!  Between school, clinical, tests, playtime with the kids, Liam starting Tae Kwon Do & Brian's schedule- we've barely had a moment to breath.  So I'm afraid this month's "giving back" blog will be short and sweet- much like the little girl it's about.

On February 13th, Brian's grandmother was called to God's side to rejoin her husband for Valentine's day after being apart 24 years. We, actually I, dreaded telling Liam the news since he is definitely old enough to understand what we were saying. To my relief, he asked if she was with God now and said that he was going to "miss her a lot" but was glad she was with God. Death and illness are not generally topics we think our kids will face head on until later in life, unless it's a family member. We have a fairly close-knit community here, especially within our in-subdivision school.  When I heard about a girl named Madi at Liam's school, I just about cried. Terminal illness isn't something a child should have to face head on.

Meet Madi.

She's fighting back!!

From her page: "Madi Beetham was living a normal very active life of a 10 year old until January 26th, 2014. Madi was active in dance, basketball, softball, cheerleading and crossfit. That night a symptom of what would later be diagnosed as B Lymphoblastic Lymphoma would present itself. The following 2 weeks would be a whirlwind of tests and biopsies to bring about a final diagnosis. It has been diagnosed as a stage 4 Lymphoblastic lymphoma. This severe staging is due to central nervous system involvement (brain). We still have a very good chance of beating this and getting her back to a vibrant, energetic beautiful girl. Madi has been exceptionally upbeat and positive through the initial stages so far. We look to you for help and support to assist her through remainder of her 2+ year battle."

Please support or donate at Madi Beetham's Victory Fund

This month's linked blog: Mom's blog - The D's and the Dogs

I'm Currently... | February Linked

First off, I would like to welcome Lindy, the newest link addition to our "chain". Welcome!

This month we decided to do an "I'm currently..." blog, so here goes-

Resolving :: to focus on my family and our accomplishments and to care less what other people think or how they choose to act & treat others.

Wondering :: when healthy began to equate to only being thin? It certainly is NOT always the case!

Anticipating :: the next couple of weeks of my clinical rotation (I'm really looking forward to my O.R. rotation day- I can't wait!!), Mom and Ma W. coming for a visit, birthday parties   and cake baking; all in the next 3 weeks!

Worrying :: about my husband's grandmother and about our next exam coming up on Monday.

(This image is a perfect representation of nursing school exams!)

Eating :: nothing at the moment, but drinking a caramel cappuccino. Yum!

Making :: valentines with Liam for school.

Remembering :: I need to compile a grocery list for when we get paid this week- time to stock up!

Celebrating :: finally being completely caught up with bills and take care of needed maintenance on our vehicles- it's my first "payday" of the year this week! lol ;-)

For more fun "I'm currently..." blogs, you can view my Mom's blog at: The D's and the Dogs,

Melissa's blog at: Growing Like Weeds, and Lindy's blog at: Candid Negative

January RAK & Giving Back | Linked

I told my Mom I wasn't sure what I was going to write about this time. We haven't been in a financial state to necessarily "do" RAKs. Shoot, I've barely have enough in the house until today to round out our own meals let alone baking something for neighbors, etc... so this might be pretty short.

Some nice things we've been able to do:

1. Exchange daycare while I'm at school for providing daycare so my friend can hit the gym.

(She got an AMAZING deal on her membership, we can't let that go to waste, can we?)

2. Helped friends of ours control the chaos at their son's "at home" birthday party.

(Let's face it, having eleven 6- & 7-year olds running around your house with Nerf guns is enough to make anyone question their sanity; so we were happy they asked us to hang around & help out.)

3. My husband accompanied his brother to the emergency room earlier last week.

(Long story short- 19yo not driving for the conditions swerves & rear-ends him. Whiplash.)

4. After one of the snow storms earlier this month, my husband helped one of the neighbors that was stuck in their own driveway shovel one car out & then loaned them one of our shovels so they could finish their driveway.

(Yeah, let's just say that won't be happening again. You live in the Midwest yet you don't even own a shovel, or a pair of gloves for that matter? And then when a neighbor helps you & loans you the equipment, you don't even bother to finish your driveway or sidewalks? Yeah, no. You can stay stuck next time. [Yes, I know that's not very nice, but I don't tolerate feeling "used" too well... but that's a topic for a whole other blog.])

Some nice things we've been blessed with:
1. Unfailing friendship from Heather & RJ.
2. Continued opportunities to bond & grow closer to our new friends Shannon & Chris.
3. Reconnecting with & finding new connections with our old re-enacting friend Jenny.
4. Reacquiring our friend Shanna back into the gaming fold. (Hopefully before she moves in May, we'll have her so addicted that she'll Skype in every weekend she's available & bring Beth with her!)

For more ideas on random acts of kindness, you can view my Mom's blog at: The D's and the Dogs 

and Melissa's blog at: Growing Like Weeds.

No Longer My Baby

Do you see this?

"No, what am I suppose to be seeing?"

Here's a close up... take a good look... what do you see?

Now...?

Nothing. The answer is a "nothing".

This is an empty space much like many others. So what's so special about this empty space?

Only moments before I took these pictures, this space was occupied by an item that's been a part of our family for almost seven years.

A crib.

In a way, this empty space signifies an ending of an era; the ending of a significant stage in our lives. The boy used the crib from day one and only fell out twice when we converted it to a toddler bed after moving into our house. He moved into his "big boy" twin bed the Christmas before the baby arrived, at which time she laid claim to the crib. She used the crib up until last October, when she decided it was no longer good enough for her and she moved herself into her twin bed. The crib has remained in her room ever since, unoccupied.

While we've decided we're done consciously attempting to add little ones to our family, banishing the crib to the basement made it feel so... well, final.

I find some consolation in the idea that in a few months the crib will gain new life as we are gifting it to family members.

The realization that my baby is no longer that is a difficult pill to swallow. As we approach her 3rd birthday with the boy's 7th birthday just a couple weeks after, I'm finding the necessity to accept my baby is now my "little girl" more and more unavoidable. Some days she flat-out surprises me with the complexity and maturity of things she says and does.

So while the absence of the crib has created an empty space, I'm enjoying the prospect of playtime, adventures and imaginative creativity that will occupy this space in the years to come.

And I know that no matter how big she may grow and how mature she may be...

She will always be my baby girl.

Details, details...

I apologize.

It's not often I write a rant for a blog, but I just have to do this... so please- buckle up & hold on!

Have you ever found yourself on a page or reading a physical article that looked to be highly promising only to end up disappointed by the lack of care the author put into the little details of their blog or article?  

What little details?

Spelling and grammar.

I don't know about you, but when someone doesn't care enough to take the time to spell words correctly or to use proper grammar, it's difficult for me to take them seriously. I'm talking when I expect a bit of professionalism.

I find it hard to justify my heeding the author's advice, taking their challenge, trying their idea or sharing their thoughts if they can't be bothered to make sure their article or blog is polished before publication.

I'm very entertained by George Takei on Facebook and his posts and comments about grammar and spelling. I'm amazed at the number of people who end up looking foolish trying to justify excessive misspellings and horrendous grammar.  Don't get me wrong, I've had my fair share of auto-correct mishaps, but I go back to edit and correct the error, because I know better! Most people write/type how they speak because this is how the brain works; but I find it extremely hard to think highly of someone who can't differentiate between:

through, thru and threw

their, they're and there

your and you're

know and no

...

...there's a number of others I've seen in excess the past few weeks.  But the final straw came today as I was reading a blog trying to give people budget advice. The blogger starts with an "ad" for people to follow their Facebook page that "over 25,000" already like. The author then goes into the main point, excluding a multitude of helpful information. About halfway through the article, the author misspells three words in a two-sentence span. Not only had they not gone back to correct the error, but the fact that the misspellings were so blatantly obvious (examples listed above) made it clear to me that the blogger just didn't care. It really made me feel like the blogger had their "high traffic volume" and was only trying to build a larger following, so they didn't feel the need to keep up with a semi-professional standard of actually reviewing the post. It was abundantly clear where their priorities sat.

I understand that blogs are peoples way to get ideas out there, that very few who blog are professional writers, that not everyone has had the same level of education, and most certainly not a great number of people find pride in the attention to this kind of detail to even care that these errors can discredit a writer's reputation... but really? Having that many regular readers, how do people not feel the need to take their blogging to the next level of casual professionalism? I find it disappointing and disrespectful that people who have such a large following and are peddling advice don't have the common sense to even edit their posts before clicking the "publish" button, or to go back and review their posts for that matter.

Is it seriously all about people getting their fifteen minutes of fame and not caring about reputation?

What ever happened to taking pride in one's work?

What ever happened to doing a job right?

Now for a bit of humor...

If you've made it here, to the end, I appreciate you letting me get this off my chest.
I have a very small following... but I truly appreciate all five of you. (haha)

Every now and then we need to put things out there that really bother us, even if we know no one (or very few) will read them, so we don't have to think about them anymore.

Thanks!

Goals | Linked

That's right- GOALS, NOT "resolutions"!

Personally, I can not stand the phrase "making a resolution". Why?

There are such negative connotations with the word. For example:

In a few months when momentum has subsided, will power gone by the wayside, life has gotten in the way and you have nothing to show for your "resolution", what does that say? That you lost resolve? That you failed? That you're a wimp who couldn't hack it?

No thank you- I am NOT a loser!

I love goals! Goals are specific, attainable and most importantly- goals can be modified and adjusted! If you don't happen to fulfill your goal, you did not lose, "wimp out", or fail. You simply take stock of where you are currently at, congratulate yourself on the progress you've made thus-far, reevaluate your goal, and then revamp and restate it accordingly.

If you want more info on better ways to set goals, check out this blog post by Jordan at "Fun, Cheap or Free"- I absolutely LOVE her blog. (If you're not a subscriber to her blog, you should be!)

So, to get this party started, I made some goals for myself and my family for this year- and let me tell you, these are SO much better than any "plan" or "resolution" we've made in past years!

1. Obtain a more finite handle on finances. 

While my husband gets paid every other week, I get paid 3 times a year... when spring financial aid hits, when the tax returns come in, and when fall financial aid posts. (Ok, so it's not really getting paid, but you get the idea of where we're at right now.)

Instead of being ruled by, and playing the "we just have to get by until financial aid comes in" game, we're taking charge and using tools like Mint.com and dividing up finances into several accounts instead of the single account we currently use. Again, I can thank Jordan for these tidbits. You can read more about Jordan's "multiple account method" here.

2. Complete the "Christmas Savings" Challenge.

We originally started the year off doing the "52 Week Challenge", but let's face it, there will come a time when the weekly amount gets to be too much for us to take out of our budget & set aside. The regular weekly savings is a much more consistent and attainable method for us.

(If you'd like to take the challenge, you can find great info here at the Creative Savings blog.)

3. Treat myself better.

No, this is not committing to a fad or insanity diet or spending hours upon hours at the gym.

Being a full-time nursing student with two kids, a husband, a dog and a house to take care of means...

(In case you missed it, this lady gained immediate fame for her statement in 2012 after evacuating her apartment during a fire. Story here.)

Back to the goal... this simply means taking time to be better about food and portions (a subject in which my talents grew drastically the last few months of 2013), finding time to move around other than being on my feet non-stop during clinical days, spending more time playing/rough-housing with the kids (because we all love the chaos and insanity that ensues from physical play) and last, but not least, and certainly the most important by far... stop being so darn mean to myself! For Pete's sake!- Marilyn Monroe was a size 14 and she was sexy! Why the heck do I need to be stick-thin, no curves, make-up caked and starving to be attractive? What a load of bologna!

My husband thinks I'm sexy and I know who he comes home to each night. As long as I'm trying to be better for my health, that's good enough... for now.

4. Find humor in the little things.

This was something I was working on the last few months of 2013 as well.  Evidence? Didn't you see what I did in goal #3? I can see the look on your face right now...

Or you're doing this...

Anywho... enough of that.

5. Continue busting my hump in school. (Do I really have to define this one?)

6. Ignore the crap people do that I have no control over.  They want to treat me second-class, judge me or exclude me while they do for everyone BUT me when they don't know who I am or what's going on in my life... they can go ahead and waste their energy. I have better things to spend myself on.

And finally... #7

IF I HEAR A FAMILIAR METAL GRINDING SOUND ACCOMPANIED BY THE APPEARANCE OF POLICE BOX AND A MAN WITH A SONIC SCREWDRIVER STEPS OUT, I'M OUTTA HERE! (...with the contingency that when we're done traveling through out all space and time, he returns me to exactly 1 minute after I left so as to not disrupt my current timeline.)

That's right... if you don't know what a fan I am, then you don't know me well at all and you REALLY need to educate yourself on wibbly, wobbly, timey, wimey stuff here.

For more ideas on goals, you can view my Mom's blog at: The D's and the Dogs 

and Melissa's blog at: Growing Like Weeds.

Happy New Year!

"Crappy" Baking Tutorial

Tuesday night Brian informs me that he signed up to bring dessert for their pot luck Friday.

Thanks for the notice.

He wants to take my Keebler Cookie Salad; of course he wants to take the one dish I have absolutely NOTHING in the house to make.

How about some cupcakes? I have everything I need to make those. (uh huh, sure you do!)

I decided to make salted caramel cupcakes and devil's food cupcakes topped with cookie dough frosting. You can find links for the recipes for both here.

This is where the fun began.

I begin making the salted caramel cupcakes. I always cream the butter, add brown sugar, then all of the liquid ingredients, then all of the dry.  I get to the bottom of my liquid list... CRAP! I don't have buttermilk!

Quickly look up buttermilk substitutes and congratulate myself on having plain vanilla yogurt and milk to make an acceptable substitute.

Complete recipe, dig out pans... CRAP! Do I have enough cupcake papers?

Wheew- 1 (and only 1) package in the cabinet.

Load up two pans and throw them in the oven. Start the chocolate cupcakes. Measure, dump, mix... "this looks really dark, and smells really rich... what did I do?"

CRAP!- I neglected the prime ingredient in any good devil's food recipe- sour cream!

Dig out the sour cream and add it to the bowl... much better!

Prep & load pans, finish just as the timer for the caramel batch sounds.

Switch out pans and let caramel cupcakes cool as I start mixing the frosting.  As the butter is creaming, I dig out my container of powdered sugar. 

Wait, how much does it say I need? CRAP- there is NOT 8 cups of powdered sugar in here!

Frantically rummage and find a new bag of powdered sugar.  Woo-hoo, 32 oz!

Simultaneously realize I just used the last of the brown sugar in the container for the cupcakes and I need more for the cookie dough frosting. CRAP!

Rummage round 2. Find 2 new packages of brown sugar- score!

Caramel frosting is made, cupcakes are cool. Time to frost!

CRAP- I don't have any pastry bags!

Attempt to make a bag out of waxed paper, which is a flop. CRAP!

Try using a sandwich baggie with the corner cut, seam busts. Double CRAP!

It's at this point I realize the frosting is holding whatever shape I dump it out of... 

Begin rolling frosting into balls and press onto cupcakes- genius!

Complete caramel cupcakes and take picture just before timer for chocolate cupcakes goes off.

As the chocolate cupcakes cool, I mix the cookie dough frosting.

Remember a second time that I have no pastry bags- CRAP!

Decide to use the "dollop" method. Finish chocolate cupcakes and sprinkle with chocolate chips. Take picture.

Realize I have 24 cupcakes that look nice and professional and 24 cupcakes that look like my almost 3-year old decorated them.

Oh well. It's just for the hubby and the 10 people at their branch... I think these'll do. 

So there you have it: the 9 "CRAP" method of baking.

The HCHC

What's HCHC you ask? It's quite simple really.

"Holy Crap Holiday Clean-up"

Every year at this time we look around and say "boy do we need to go through things".  This thought results in a massive clean-out and organization of practically every square inch of our house. This year's progression into the HCHC was more subconscious than ever before... here's how it happened:

1. Pinterest. Need I say more? Ok, I might, just a bit. I came across a post that gave a daily breakdown for each week of things to do to keep your house clean- super simple and easy to complete- will easily become habits.  I added one or two things to the list and printed it.

You can find the original at the Gaddis Family Adventure blog

  2. This morning I got up and decided that everyone who says they're going to "start it Monday" never does... so I decided to the plunge!  

3. Completed my three morning tasks. Yay!

4. Felt a sudden spur of excitement thinking "since we've been tossing the idea around... how excited would Brian be if he got home & I had the kids dressers switched?!"

5. Needless to say, the boy had yet to perform disaster recovery from the tornado that had clearly struck his room. He was charged with getting all of the "stuff" out from in front of the dresser and out of the path I would need to get it to the door and emptying the drawers.

6. After much pushing, shoving and groaning, I single-handedly had the dressers switched. 

Woo-hoo!

But it didn't stop there...

7. Seeing an opportunity to give the boy even more space to play, I suggested we move his bed before repositioning his toy box back into his room. Motion approved!

8. Now that the bed was moved, we still had that pile of clothes he had taken out of his drawers. *Light bulb clicks on above my head*

9. Taught the boy how to check sizes and had him try on questionable items. 

About halfway through his fashion show I realized it had happened. I had officially initiated our family's "Holy Crap Holiday Clean-up". 

Mental cheer for motivation!

10. "Good" clothes folded and put away in their new home, the boy continued his work on the disaster that was his closet.

11. Lather, rinse, repeat in the baby's room, adding to the donation pile that was steadily growing in the loft.

12. Discovered I had an audience...

 

13. The boy shows off the immaculate work he did in his room. I'm impressed!

14. Vacuum his room.

 

15. Eat lunch.

16. Loaded the kids' "Sacrament Keepsake" boxes with the baptismal and hospital items previously hidden in the "hidden drawer" on each of their dressers.

17. Here's about where we lost steam for the day... with both kids' dressers full, the loft teeming with donation items, and a feeling of accomplishment... the baby decides it's time for her daily "potty training marathon"- meaning we end up "sitting on the potty" 6 times in an hour. *sigh* 

2pm - momentum officially lost.

3pm - after a good long snuggle, the  baby crashes and finally goes down for a nap.

After the baby goes down, I start a load of laundry and empty, reload and run the dishwasher.

4pm - answer emails, check Facebook and peruse Pinterest (it's an addiction, I admit it.)

Brian is "rewarding" us (well, more like the boy for the awesome work he did in his room) with McD's for dinner.

On the docket for tomorrow:

Family room, living room, finishing touches on the kitchen and dining room.

Our reward: dinner at a friend's house.

We can't wait!

 

Giving Back | Linked

First and foremost, for those of you who are new to my blog: my husband  I have been married 8 years and have 2 wonderful children, a first grader and an almost 3 year old. After working for 15 years, I quit my job in 2012 to put my energy fully into going back to school for my RN- we lost half of our income with this decision, and while it's been challenging and (quite frankly) terrifying, I know we made the best decision for our family and we try to make the best of it as well as we can and count our blessings often.

Another year has come and gone, another set of resolutions unmet. As my regular readers may remember, I was resolved to blogging more in 2013. That resolution gave way to finishing my novel and preparing to enter nursing school.  A few weeks ago I received an email from my Mom and step-sister-in-law, Melissa, about doing linked blogs once a month- I took that as a sign that will help keep me motivated and accountable for actually completing the blogs I want to write.

This month's blog is about giving back.


We are a family of many Christmases, 6 to be exact.  This past weekend my Dad was in town for his Christmas with us. In one of the most thoughtful Christmas gifts we've ever received, he surprised me by taking me to the store where he bought a little over a week's worth of groceries for us. You can only imagine how thrilled I was!

Earlier in the month we were able to spend time visiting my husband's grandmother as she recovered from a hospital stay at a long-term care facility. Not only did Grandma enjoy talking and spending time with my husband and watching our youngest being on the go non-stop, but quite a few of the other residents enjoyed watching the baby travel up and down the halls past the recreation areas and their rooms. More than once I caught sight of faces brightening as we passed and heard comments of "Oh, such a sweet little girl!" and "The baby's all dressed up for Christmas" (we dressed her in her Christmas outfit for Grandma).

And finally... Just after Christmas, a friend brought her kids over for a play-date and as we discussed the two of us being done having kids, she asked if I had any of my maternity stuff I'd be willing to part with for a friend of hers who was paying outlandish amounts of money for maternity clothing where she's currently living over seas. Needless to say, I was thrilled to be able to get the maternity clothes out of my closet! In addition, she took the pack-n-play which opened up some extra space in our house.  There were a few additional maternity items I knew I had and in the massive "sort and organize" that took place that afternoon we were able to put together 5 boxes and a bag of children and infant clothing that we took to Goodwill. I was thrilled that we were getting it out of our house and to a place where thrifty shoppers would be able to get use out of it!


For more inspiration on ways to give back, you can view my Mom's blog and Melissa's blog.

One Last Smile

I encourage you to read through to the end of this post- there is a special announcement you won't want to miss!

One year ago today, my uncle lost his battle with cancer. While it has been a difficult and heartbreaking transition for our entire family, we have been able to find some comfort in knowing he is no longer suffering as he was towards the end. Each day I think about him, my aunt & my cousins at least once. I miss him terribly.

The week before Lee passed, I was visiting him & our family in Des Moines. I had an essay that was due the following week, so in the wee hours of the morning, I found inspiration from being there with him and my family. Here is that essay:

"The first night of English 102 I had to inform my instructor that I would be missing class the night this first paper was due because we would be on a trip to visit my ill uncle in Iowa.  We agreed that the paper could be submitted electronically and he also offered a suggestion: come back with a story that I didn't already know, just to keep as a personal, special memory of him.  I smiled and remarked what a good idea that was.

As I contemplated which topic to choose for this paper I found it difficult to be completely satisfied with the two I had narrowed my selection down to.  My husband liked “what's the fascination with zombies" while I thought "why couldn't the keyboard have been alphabetized" sounded fun.  I put off and procrastinated this paper for over a week and still could not settle myself into a satisfactory topic... until 12:35 this morning.  It was at that moment I found resolution to a question that has been burning in my mind, and no doubt a number of other people's heads, for quite some time... why does God allow us to suffer and endure the loss of loved ones with seemingly nothing to gain in return?

Growing up, we spent a lot of time with my Uncle Lee.  Between family golf outings, reunions and various carpentry projects he completed with the help of my Dad, there was a lot of time spent together, especially at Lee's house in Des Moines.  Lee has always been quick witted and clever, but my favorite thing about him is his smile.  It is never just his mouth that smiles, it's his whole face; his mouth, eyes, even his ears take part in that contagious smile of his!  You just can't help feeling good when you see him smiling.

Life was good, until he was diagnosed with lung cancer last fall.  For a year Lee has battled.  After what seemed to be a successful round of chemotherapy last year, he bounced back and was almost his old self again at our annual "Larsen Soup-er Saturday" in November and he continued to smile.  This spring they discovered that the cancer had spread to his brain.  In order to combat the new tumors they attempted a more aggressive chemotherapy treatment which didn't work.  They then used radiation, which was successful but also had the unfortunate side effect of memory loss.  Once radiation treatment was complete, a full-body scan was conducted to verify the remission of his cancer.  It was at this time they discovered that it had spread practically everywhere; his body is extensively riddled with cancerous cells.  A decision had to be made: either try a new, even more aggressive treatment that had potentially devastating side effects, or place his life in God's hands and let His plan unfold.  Lee’s care was placed with God.

Lee has continued to smile, until this point.  When I spoke with my Dad Sunday morning, the hospice nurses were giving him a month to live, and that was being generous.  Monday evening they were saying 24 hours.  I made the 5.5 hour drive in just under 5 hours.  I spent the majority of those 5 hours wondering if I was doing the right thing by leaving my family at home to make this trip, wondering if I was just being selfish to want the peace of knowing I was able to see and spend time with him one last time, and wondering if it would be too late by the time I arrived.  At 12:20 a.m. this morning I pulled into their driveway.  The first thing I did was visit Lee.

As I looked upon him lying so weak, feverish and medicated in his bed I couldn't help but think "Why? Why is God allowing him to suffer in such pain? Why are his wife and daughters being put through the torture of watching him degrade from the once social and very capable person he once was to hardly being able to keep his eyes open or recognize those who were closest to him? Why wouldn't God have mercy and give him peace?"

As my Aunt Laura rubbed his arm and spoke to him in an attempt to rouse him from his sleep she told me how the hallucinations had become the norm the past few days and recognition had deteriorated to near non-existence. Although it was the middle of the night, he opened his eyes ever so slightly and with much effort.  Laura told him "Liz is here. Liz drove all this way to see you."  He turned to look at me, grinned that wonderful smile of his and whispered "hi" before closing his eyes again.  Laura said "That is the most recognition we've had in a while."  It was 12:35 a.m.

It was that moment that I realized that even though we may feel small and insignificant, our actions or even just our being means something to someone.  In that one smile I found reassurance, love and a sense of meaning I had not previously known existed.  In that one smile I found resolution to all of the questions that had flown through my mind just a moment earlier: we all have something to learn from these experiences.

My Grandma Forshee passed away three days before she turned 78; we buried her on her birthday, which was just two days before mine.  From her passing I learned the importance of taking advantage of the opportunity for that "one last time".  18 months later Grandpa Forshee passed.  I learned two things: 1) we can find opportunity in loss.  I'd spent most of my childhood being close with the Forshees, now was my chance to bond and grow closer to Grandma and Grandpa Larsen; 2) sometimes you just have to let go.  Grandpa was ready to go be with his wife, but he held on for 18 long months because the rest of us were not ready to let him go.  We finally realized that we were not able to begin healing until he was able to be at peace.  When we finally let him go, the transition was peaceful and full of love and understanding that he would be in a better place and would be reunited with his true love.  In 2011, on our anniversary, my husband's Aunt passed suddenly.  The loss of Auntie Bevie taught me that everyone is to be cherished, because you really never know when time will be up.

As I write this, it is 4 a.m. Tuesday, September 18^th, 2012.  I know I should sleep, but I won't, I can't.  I know this may be the last sunrise Lee sees in this world, and although I am saddened by this, I am also inspired.  I mattered to Lee in a way and for a reason I will likely never fully know or understand, and he mattered to me more than he ever knew.  So while I may not be bringing back a memorable story, I'm bringing back something even more cherished and special, something I will carry with me to the end of my days... a smile.

Leroy Morris Larsen passed away on Tuesday, September 25, 2012 at approximately 3:15 p.m."

As you may or may not know, I am a Tupperware consultant/manager. October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month and Tupperware has come out with a number of great "pink" items!  From now through November 1st, I will be donating 100% of my profits from all of my Tupperware sales (pink or not) to Stand Up 2 Cancer in memory of Lee. Please join me in supporting cancer research and treatment. Together we can make a difference!

Shop online at www.my.tupperware.com/ERACHE or contact me to order.

My Summer Bucket

I'm new at this... the whole "being home instead of working" thing.  And lets face it, this takes some getting use to and adjustment to make it work properly.  So I've come up with a short "summer bucket list" to help keep my sanity and the kids entertained.  Let's see how much of this is accomplished at the end of summer.

1.) Get out of the house with the kids at least once a week. (Brookfield Zoo, Phillips Park, Naperville Riverwalk, downtown Yorkville, the pool, etc)

2.) Work with Morgan on becoming better acquainted with her potty seat.

3.) Get some "adult" time.  (Monday evenings at Suzy's watching Amanda's sand volleyball team will be a good start!, but I want to get a "Moms night" once every few weeks for us neighborhood moms to get together & have some wine.)

and, last but certainly not least

4.) WORK ON MY NOVEL!  My goal is to have it 90-100% complete before fall semester begins.  Considering I've written 2 chapters in the last 2 days and come up with a great twist, I have no excuse not to meet this goal, unless (God forbid) I hit writers block- in which case someone will need to come kick me square in the derriere!

Cheers!

Meet "Basketball"

There's a very special someone I'd like to introduce you to.  Her name is Basketball.

Why I named her that 25 years ago, I have no idea, but the name stuck.  My Grandma Larsen made her for me- she was my first CPK and she got lots of playtime when I was younger.

This weekend I was going through a few tubs of my old Barbies & stuffed animals and re-discovered my Cabbage Patch collection... so did Morgan.  She claimed the toys she wanted in this manner:

Yes, she made it clear that those are "Nine!" (mine) and yes, that tub is half full of Barbie clothes- she "hid" the actual Barbies on my recliner so she could sit in the tub with "Nine!" toys.

I think it is safe to say that today, on Morgan's 2nd birthday, Basketball has a new owner.  And while it saddens me a little to think of just how old Basketball is, I am thrilled that Morgan has adopted her and I'm sure she will be loved for a long time.

Aslan and Jesus

Before Christmas, Brian & I had been working on explaining to Liam why we celebrate Christmas and now I've started trying to explain Easter. But let's face it, describing abstract reasoning and events from 2000 years ago tends to go right over the head of most 5-year olds. I do my best and hope something gets absorbed. I've been thrilled that he remembers that Jesus came to us to save us all from evil. It's a start.

We've been working on broadening the kids horizons past Thomas the tank engine and Toy Story. I know they go through phases, but the current diet of Toy Story 2 & Thomas non-stop has begun to wear on my nerves. So today I decided that Liam is probably old enough to understand most of the Narnia series; so down to the basement I went to dig out the 3 movies. I explained the basic idea of the movie (finding a magical world in a closet) and he was very excited to watch it!

As we watched "The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe" Liam asked questions and I started off by explaining that it was magic; but as the movie progressed, somethng clicked in my head and i found myself explaining events in the movie in religious terms.

Liam asked why Edmund was with the White Witch; I told him that she had tricked him like the Devil tries to trick us into doing bad things.

Liam asked about Aslan the lion; I told him Aslan was like Jesus in that he was there to protect them from evil.

During the scene where Aslan sacrifices himself in Edmund's place, I explained to Liam how Jesus had given himself to the bad guys so that they could not hurt us.

I explained that, like Aslan, Jesus had died to keep us safe from evil.

Liam asked if Aslan was going to come back (by this point he was calling Aslan "Jesus") and I told him to keep watching.

When the stone table cracked and Aslan came back, I explained to him how that was like when Jesus rose from his grave which is why we celebrate Easter.

At the end of the battle, Liam asked if the evil was dead, and I told him it was.

The end of the film shows Aslan walking across a perfectly serene beach. Lucy is sad that he is leaving, but Mr. Tumnus tells her that he will be back when he is needed. I told Liam that Jesus had left the Earth too, but when we need him most, he will come back to protect us again.

While I know CS Lewis is quoted as saying he did not write the books as a religious metaphor, the similarities were just too plain to see for me to not notice them. It fit so perfectly and finally gave me a tool to be able to show Liam these abstract past events that we had been trying to clarify for months in a way he would understand them. He seemed to understand what we were talking about, so I hope he has assimilated at least the important facts from our conversation.

One thing is for sure: I will never look at this movie the same way again...

God sent his only son to save us from evil...
Jesus died to protect us...
We celebrate Jesus' birth at Christmas and we celebrate his rise from the grave at Easter...
And last but not least: God & Jesus can take on many forms... even a lion named Aslan.

The New "Me" part 1

Yes, I know it has been a long time since my last blog and so much has happened.
Since today is the first day of a new year, I'll share with you that I've made only 2 resolutions for myself:  1.) Blog more often; 2.) Be better to myself.
I'm starting resolution #1 by sharing resolution #2.

As happens when you have kids, you devote most (or if you're like me, all) of your time to them.  I've come to realize I really don't do anything for myself and I certainly don't treat or take care of myself like I should.  Since leaving my job, I've come to realize that I really do have some worth and really should take better care of "me" than I have in the past because, darn it, I deserve to feel good about myself!  I've done a little shopping for clothes- not the "off the rack cookie cutter" stuff I use to buy at Wal-Mart, I'm talking shopping at stores designed for those of us that are full-figured.  My favorite of these by far has been Torrid (owned by Hot Topic).  I've worked on taking control of my appearance by doing more with my hair and trying to put on make-up more often, especially if I'm going out somewhere.  Trying to kick this never ending acne has been a pain in the behind, but it's a work in progress.

The biggest challenge I'm facing is my weight; yes, pun intended. 

This problem began when I was in high school.  Most girls are overly self-conscious at that age and I fell into this category.  I wasn't really fast or super smart or very pretty, and frankly, I believe that whole statement still applies.  But what made it much worse for me was being put on a medication for epilepsy that, years later, another specialist determined I did not need.  The diagnosis wasn't as bad as the amount of weight I gained from the medication I was put on.  Not being a small girl in the first place, soaring to 145 then 160 in high school was torture.  Throughout college I worked a fast-paced, physical, "on your feet" job which helped to keep my weight in check, until I moved to Illinois in 2004 and started a desk job at the bank.  By the time I became pregnant with our son in 2006, I had ballooned to 194.  After he was born in 2007 I lost the mere 18 pounds I gained during pregnancy and felt good about it.  I dieted and exercised and when I became pregnant with our daughter in 2010... I was right at 194.  I gained more weight with her than her brother but was still able to get myself down to 205 post-delivery.  So here I was, almost 2 years later sitting at 214 and wondering why I'm unable to lose the weight.

Throughout the years I've exercised, dieted, starved, done the trend diet and more to try to lose this excess. Weight Watchers, IsaGenix, Alli, Atkins.. all of it failing or worse, making me GAIN more weight.  No matter what diets I tried or how much I exercised, nothing seemed to work or it caused me side effects that were annoying, inconvenient or just plain gross!  (If you've tried Alli and had "leakage" you know exactly what I'm talking about!)

So at the beginning of December 2012 I decided enough was enough.  Being on the go with college, a Kindergartner to run to & from school and a toddler to chase around wasn't enough to do anything but maintain the status quo.  I saw an episode of Dr. Oz talking about green coffee bean extract. (You can see the segment here or read the article here.)  I said to myself "heck, nothing else has worked, I may as well give this a try."  Dr. Oz recommends a green coffee bean extract that is 100% pure, and this is what I found:

The ONLY ingredients in this are: Green Coffee Bean Extract and Vegetarian Capsule.  You can find this at Wal-Mart (30 capsules for about $10) or I got this 90 capsule bottle at Sam's Club for around $20.

I began my little experiment by logging on to MyPlate at www.livestrong.com .
In order to make this as unbiased as possible, I set my goal to "maintain my current weight" which at 214 pounds gave me a total of about 2400 calories allowed each day starting off (as you track your weight progress it adjusts your calorie allotment accordingly.)  And no, I'm not ashamed to admit I was that high because if I can't be honest about it, nothing is ever going to change- I have to face it in order to fix it.  Yes, that sounds like a lot of calories and I have only been over on my calories 5 days of the 23 total, and each of those was either going to a movie or eating dinner/lunch out, most days I don't even come close (most days I have between 400 and 800 calories remaining, a few days I had 1200-1600 remaining).  I started a journal but about halfway through my entries were few and far between just because of school finals, finishing up for Christmas, etc... I just didn't make the time for them.  I will try to be better about that during part 2.

Starting December 8th, I began taking 2 capsules 30 minutes before lunch and dinner with a whole bunch of water.  There have been several days that I have forgotten the pills at lunch, but that's how it goes sometimes.  I was not going to the gym like I had been in previous weeks and will be beginning in the next couple weeks because my fitness class had ended and I just didn't have time to go- so no, I have not been doing any additional exercise during part 1 of this experiment. The only thing I've done is paid closer attention to my portions because of tracking on MyPlate... let's face it, a bowl of GetBalance Crunch for me is 2 servings, not the skimpy 1 cup that's listed on the box.  I haven't necessarily been eating "better" just more controlled and a touch "smarter".

The results?  In 23 days I have lost 9 pounds, have been able to hold to portion sized much better and have not experienced any negative side effects.  Being back to 205 feels good, but my short term goal is to be under 200 again... once I hit that I'll re-assess and set a new goal.  Little bits at a time, that's how I'll defeat this demon.

During part 2 I will be changing my MyPlate goal to losing 1 or 2 pounds a week (undecided which at this moment) and will be more physical in weeks to come as I hit the fitness center more and start my personal defense class.  Then we'll really see what I can do with a little bit of determination and green coffee extract!
 
See you in a few weeks!...